Total invasion

It's happened!  Everything I feared has come to pass: our yard has become a free-for-all of invading animals.  First it started with the squirrels acting like they owned the place; now a nasty, sneaky neighbors-cat has heard that our yard is defenseless and has started coming over as well!  And mommy still won't let me out!  How can she let this happen?  I mean, who does she think will protect this house while daddy's at work?  I'm seriously not happy about this. 

Look, even Dorothy - my oblivious to everything sister - can now see this is getting out of hand!  It's happening just like I thought: I'm becoming known as the pushover of the street.  I bark my loudest barks and growl my deepest, most threatening growls at this pompous cat but she just sits there smirking at me - knowing she's safe because the squirrels have told her I can't come outside.  

Now that the squirrels and cats are invading at full force - what's next? A bear?!!  Oh, if only I was an outside dog.  There wouldn't be so much as a spider in my yard!

Squirrels taking over the yard

The squirrels around our new place drive me crazy!  No matter which window I look out of during the day; there's a squirrel sitting there, smug as anything and taunting me because I'm stuck inside.  As a city dog, a squirrel is nothing but a toy to me - something to chase when I go the park; so why are they always hanging around the windows when they know I'm stuck inside?  

Turns out there's lots I don't know about squirrels, like how arrogant they could be!  Treating my yard like their own!  Sometimes they run around the whole house - I see them through the front window and bark to let them know my play time's not till later and that they aren't welcome back until then but they tease me in the most annoying way!  It's like they're saying "nah nah, you're in there and can't do anything about it" and run around to my bedroom window where they wait for me to tease me some more.   I already know that's what's going on, so I follow down the hallway, barking about the injustice of it the whole time thinking I'll teach you some manners but when they spot me, they just infuriatingly twitch their tail: "nah nah" and carry on to the backyard where I can always see them through the back door.  

That's when the real taunting begins and by now I''m so mad, I'm shaking!  I bark louder as they climb and swing off the trees, or scale the fence - twitching their tails the whole time.  At first, I used to run to mommy and beg her to let me at them but now I've given up since she always just says: "you have to get used to them Baxter, you need to share the yard." Grrrr! Share the yard?  Doesn't she understand that it's a matter of honor?  I will become the laughing stock of the neighborhood at this rate!  A few times I pretended I had to pee so she's let me out but she didn't fall for that either. 

It's so bad, these squirrels rile me up every day and there's nothing I can do but sit by the backdoor growling my annoyance at their invasion of my yard.  I just hope they remember: once mommy opens this door for my potty break I'm going after them! And this time, I'll get 'em!